Revisiting ‘Love’

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This time I am revisiting the topic of love after being in a relationship for almost 2 years and then trying to get over it. I guess I am still in the process of getting over it but certainly this is a vantage point as I can look at love from a critical viewpoint.

After my 5 years of a one-sided platonic idolizing of a teacher in high school, I had the feeling that love was just an illusion, the same truth dawns upon me this time too. Love is the biggest illusion of our life, but just maybe not all of it is an illusion.
When you look at it from a neutral outsider’s perspective, it sure does look like an illusion, because you are able to see that it is a futile activity. The romantic aspect of a relationship seems to be taught to us through media, movies, romantic books, and even the advertisements seem to rouse our romantic feelings in order to sell their products. It is fed to you throughout your life but you need to make the conscious decision of shutting out the noise and try to find the truth.
It’s like when you are in love with someone, you’re drugged, you know the truth and what is right but still you forget all reason and do what those feelings and emotions make you do. You don’t care about your money or time, you just want to hold onto those feelings of happiness as long as you can every single day, and you’ll do anything for that. It’s an illusion because in the end that happiness won’t last, either it will wither away on its own or come to an abrupt end. You can’t re-live the same day for eternity no matter how much happy it made you.
I can point fingers at this feeling of love or of happiness or feelings all together but it is also true that feelings are an important part of what it means to be human. So our feelings and emotions can’t be an illusion but still, I am not ready to give up my premise that love is an illusion. But if I take love as a feeling then my argument goes down the drain.
At this point, I feel like comparing the concept of love to the space and time goggles of Immanuel Kant. Just like for Kant, Space and Time are intuitions that apply to other appearances, similarly, perhaps love can be called an intuition too. When we are in love perhaps we are looking at everything from pink colored spectacles of love. But then the question arises that we are not always in love with a person in a romantic way, much of our life is spent with our relationship status as single, so when exactly do we get these spectacles of love? But surely you’d agree that love is not just the romantic sort of love that we feel for some people in our life. There is also a sort of love for our parents, our siblings, our friends, our pets, nature and even ourselves. So it seems that there is a transcendental form of the intuition of love, just like the transcendental form of the intuition of space and time, which includes all these different types of it, and we are born with it.
Looking at it from another point of view, what is it about love that we want it so much in our life and why businesses are trying to sell things to us by focusing our attention on the love aspect of their products showing us why we need that product because either we’d love it or it would make us attractive to potential partners or because it would make our partner happy. Love, I think can be seen as an essential need of humans, perhaps that’s why we have that intuition of love. Love seems to be our existential need, upon birth we need the love and care of our parents for our existence. It might be said that even our own existence comes out of love- a process of lovemaking but that’s not always the case so it’s crucial to point out that love and sex are two different things.

Throughout our childhood, we thrive on the love we get from the people around us, but when we grow up and move away from home we need other sources of love, we might get it from our friends or some pet animals, or from some romantic interest, or we might even be able to provide self-love for our own self. The love we get from people around us involves mutual give and take. One person cares about the other out of love and the other person gets happiness out of it. However, such one-sided transaction doesn’t last for long, love and care has to come from both ends, and in the case of our furry friends, whether or not they love us back but we sure feel that they love us by their actions of wagging their tails or licking our faces. And as I said we need some sort of love to sustain ourselves or else a person might fall into depression and even attempt to take their own life, thinking of life as a futile existence. And this most important form of love seems to me to be self-love, which helps us keep our mind and body healthy for our own sake.

To conclude, therefore, love can be understood as an intuition like the intuition of space and time as exposed by the 18th-century philosopher Kant. And furthermore, love is crucial for our very being. The most important form of love being self-love, because whether or not anyone else loves you, if you love yourself and take care of yourself, then you can move any mountain that comes in your way.

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One thought on “Revisiting ‘Love’

  1. excellent put up, very informative. I’m wondering why the opposite experts
    of this sector don’t notice this. You must proceed your writing.
    I am confident, you’ve a great readers’ base already!

    Liked by 1 person

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