Anxiety

It hurts
Coz my words don’t rhyme anymore
My words are stuck in some deep dark abyss
I don’t feel sad; it’s a mediocre word
I feel hurt, I feel depressed
But I believe that I am not
I believe emotions are momentary
But some do remain static
I want to hurt myself now
But I write instead to heal

I repeat to myself what they say
To think about the beautiful future that lies ahead
I try to believe in this lie
Every time death seems better than life
I tell myself a lot of things
Hoping my heart will believe one of them
But how to let go of the emotions that are killing me right now?

It’s not just laziness
I have anxiety
That’s why I delay certain things so much
I try but my demons pull me back
If I have so many issues then what’s the point in living
But here I stand coz that’s one thing I won’t do
I’ll suffer if life is a suffering

I go through a dilemma
Every time I end a sad poem with a positive message
Just because I don’t want the readers
to pity me but rather be inspired
But I am a common usual average human after all
And life is hard
There are twists and turns
And bends you never want
And that’s how it goes on…