Pre-transition trans man: A citizen without identity

As a 22-year-old pre-transition trans man, who looks like a 12-year-old, I haven’t yet changed my name and gender legally. All my identification documents are under my old name and old photographs (when I hadn’t even got a short haircut). So anytime I am asked to show my ID card, it’s a very embarrassing situation as I don’t identify with the name on my identity cards, nor do I look like the person in those photographs.

I feel like I am living off the grid. A citizen without identity. An undercover spy in plain sight on a secret mission to survive every day without revealing my identity, without compromising my mission. Avoiding any situation in which someone might ask my ID card, so no going to clubs, no 18+ movies in the movie theatre, no booze in restaurants, nor going to any other government or public space which requires showing an ID. I just slip my way in and out of public spaces birdwatching discreetly. The classified information I gather, I pass on in ciphers to UNCLE. In the situations which necessitate showing an ID, I go about showing my fake identity card, my deep cover and hoping it won’t get blown.

Maybe soon I’ll become a citizen with an identity but till then I am enjoying the cool, adventurous life of a spy.

What are your secret missions?

See you on the other side.

-Agent C





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