So I had been doing a freelance job since March 2020. It was something I was really happy about for quite some time. It was a freelance job only in a few respects; basically I was with a company which was outsourcing a regular supply of work to me. So there was regular work, but the monetary reward wasn’t much. Now I say I was pretty grateful for this job because it was something I wanted to do, I was just a beginner in the field, yet they provided me the work and gave me feedbacks so that I could learn on the job and become better. So for quite some time I valued the learning more than the earning, and so I was happy with my work. But there came a time when I wasn’t learning any more, so I tried to work up to my maximum potential to see how much it would mean in terms of the monetary benefit. Well, it wasn’t what I expected of myself at age 24.
Anyhow, in February 2021, my mind set on another aspiration of a different field. I tried to work it out side-by-side with my freelance work, but I wasn’t able to do much. So in March 2021, I decided to quit my freelance job as I couldn’t foresee any growth in terms of my learning as well as earning, and therefore, I decided to focus solely on my new aspiration.
Of course, no one could predict that the second wave of corona with new mutant variations was going to hit India in April 2021. We had started believing that the worst was over when, in fact, the worst was waiting for us right ahead, looking us dead in the eye with a smug smile. This time we all were to be affected either directly or indirectly. Every one of us heard of known faces catching COVID-19 and some even losing their battle with it. The news showed the ugly truth of suffering, and our mental health took a toll.
In this gloomy environment, I too lost my focus. Even more so, my focus is divided among a number of things I want to learn and do. There are books I can’t wait to finish, online courses I am taking and more that I want to take, old team efforts that I want to pump fuel into, etc., etc.
I thought I might regret leaving my job all of a sudden and then not having any source of income, but I don’t regret it in the least. Part of it is due to my privilege, no doubt, but the other part of the equation is a shift in my mindset. Yes, I still do love what I did in my old job and do want to improve my skills in that field, but I also want to do this something more that my new aspiration dictates. I am also thinking of ways in which I can still make some money on the side but that would again divvy up my already fragmented focus. So I am still considering my options in that regard.
Try to juggle things, stay productive, and avoid procrastination. Ciao!
Under Transformation 