Years ago I was intrigued by the question"How to make everlasting memories?"Not the facts, not everythingI just wanted to remember thoseLittle things, those sweet momentsThat exchange of words in faith.I thought I had found the answer:An automatic intense focus plusreplaying the memories in the mindseemed to do the trick.There I was, remembering everything. But there … Continue reading Clean the Slate →

Oh the moodsThe moods that swingAren't they the real muse after all? The words are lostThe man is stuckNo new passion in the air that calls A personOr a passionTo be in the arms of I long forElse, life is dullWake, eat, work, entertainAnd weep to sleep in a lonely bed Turning your passion into … Continue reading The Moods That Swing →

Maybe what you're looking for is no longer where you lost it.Maybe what you're looking for is staring you right in the faceWhile you're desperately, frantically looking for it somewhere else.Maybe finding what you're looking for needs a shattering of your beliefsAfter all, what you believe might not necessarily be trueHow can you really know?You … Continue reading Advice to Self →

The ship had sunken before, tooTo the deep, dark depths of the ocean floorThough the loss had appeared to be great and clearly definedThe sailor survived, floating to the surface in an imaginary bubble of own device. This time thoughThe loss isn't apparentBut the problem isThe anchor hasn't found a resting place yetAnd the sailor … Continue reading The Ship →

My emotions are volatile.Anger turns to hurtturns to guilt turns to calm.And then they take a tripon the merry-go-round. Mark my words, but don't.They change day-to-day.Mood change six times a daydictates their sway.I don't mean anymorewhat I said yesterday.The warning has been issued:Don't hold me for what I say. The ghost still walks beside me.It … Continue reading Volatile Mess →

Hope--you gotta crush it sometimes.No matter how much its flame flickers up from the ambers to survive.But when it runs wild to things unattainable or blasphemousYou gotta kill it sometimes.Tell yourself it's done for.Tell yourself it won't revive.Make-believe, do whatever it takesBut stomp it out, you must.And hope that it would remain that wayAt least … Continue reading Kill the Hope →

"Sieve through those memoriesLet only the pure ones passOthers shall be banishedThey'll be thrown in hellfire,"Athena commands,the wisdom reflecting in her eyes.With a helmet and a spear,she's the perfect warrior,and someone to turn to for advice. I ask, "Okay, let's do that.But would it change how I feel?""Your emotions are in your own hand.If you … Continue reading “If You Will So, So It Shall” →

Me: Hi, My name is C and I am an addictAll: Hi, CMe: I recently relapsed and am trying to get sober again.I have periods of sobriety where I see reason and stay away from my addiction. I spend months like this before I find myself again in the midst of my addiction.But, I wonder … Continue reading I am an Addict →