Starting T… but then Stopping after 1.5 Months

Yes, I finally began medical transition. Right at the start of March 2021, I had my appointments with a psychiatrist and an endocrinologist. I got my gender dysphoria/incongruence letter, got my blood tests done, and then began that (oh so sweet) testosterone.

It seemed like the perfect time to start T. I had a job, I could start medically transitioning with my own money (the prerequisite I had set for myself), plus my parents were finally onboard with me starting medical transition.

And so it began. I got my first shot by my endo’s assistant and was extremely vigilant to exercise a lot so that the injection site won’t hurt too much. The site was sensitive to touch, and I did have a few nights of light sleep (which might or might not have been due to the sensitivity on my injection site on my right glute). Slowly, I noticed I felt more thirsty than before and also my voice started dropping a bit.

I tried to workout regularly, but during that first month, work deadlines got in between my workout schedule fairly frequently. Voice dropping was my most significant change for sure. For a week or two, even my face felt too oily. Even though I religiously stuck to washing my face at least twice a day. One or two pimples did start making an appearance on my face every week. But still it wasn’t bad.

I got my second shot after 15 days from a nurse, and surprisingly, that shot neither gave me a bump nor even hurt a bit. It was a job well done. Days after that shot, I became conscious of whatever puny muscles I have. In my everyday movements, I could literally feel the various muscles doing their respective jobs. Soon, that feeling of consciousness of my muscles also faded away.

My heart beat used to be quite high pre-T, around 100-120 beats a minute. But on T, it has come down to below 100 beats a minute.

A potential side effect I noticed was that one day when I went for a slow jog and brisk walk, after a couple rounds of jogging, my shins started aching. It felt even worse when I switched to brisk walking.

Well then I got my third shot from the same nurse, and as before, there was no swelling or pain afterward. However, around the same time, I left my job and therefore had more time to do my workouts at home. My voice continued to drop, and people whom I hadn’t talked to in a while could notice the change as well.

And then around the time when I had to take my fourth shot, the coronavirus situation took a turn for the worse in the country. The cases were on the rise, and I didn’t feel comfortable in going to the clinic where I used to go to get my T shot. I haven’t learnt how to self-inject yet, and so I asked my endo for advice.

I was advised that it was alright to not take T for a while, and so I am complying with that advice. I concluded that I didn’t want to unnecessarily step out of my home, even to just go get the T shot. I don’t want to take any unnecessary risk. I can continue T whenever the situation gets better. In the meantime, I can work on myself. Taking T, starting medical transition is my choice, not a necessity.

Well, I guess T is still in my system as I can continue to see some more changes. My facial hair have started to grow darker and become visible on my chin and moustache area. My voice still seems to be dropping. Today, it seemed to even be cracking or breaking. Yay!

I hope our country soon gets over this COVID crisis, so that I’ll also be able to go out to get my T shot, and also hopefully learn to self-inject.

Till then, hang on.


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